Hilarious But Historically Inaccurate Content Warning:

Please be advised that the writing contained within the following pages of this book are the bizarre and twisted ideas and imaginative concepts of a raving madperson (the author).

This is a work of pure fiction, and the events, characters, and stories within these pages should not be considered to be historical fact in any way. Due to the misleading nature of the narrative, the deliberate bungling of Canadian history, the terrible butchery of the English language, plus the neverending barrage of terrific puns and really, really funny jokes, it should not be read by anyone with an impairment, temporary or permanent, in their sense of humor. Read this book at your own risk. By reading this book, you accept sole responsibility for being offended, or injured while laughing, or by other means.