Time is a terrible healer. Our memories of the disloyalty, betrayal, or abuse we've suffered, keep the pain fresh and the consequences ongoing. No wonder we find forgiving so hard.

Traditionally, Christians view forgiveness as a gift we offer to the people who wrong us, but this fails to communicate anything about how we can receive healing from our mistreatment.

If you and I are going to believe God wants to liberate us from our past and heal our memories, a reframing of what it means to forgive is desperately required.

And to do that, we're going to need to start in an unexpected place: with the lament.